Ricky Williams is refreshingly honest

Ricky Williams' NFL career has had a bit of everything, top 10 draft pick, big contract, drug suspension, children out of wedlock, a season in the CFL, and a successful return to the NFL. Through it all Williams has been refreshingly honest about his social anxiety disorder, remember the interviews he did with his Saints helmet on, (I wish I could get the YouTube video of that) and his attraction to Mary Jane.

Ricky talked about the bye week with Armando Salgeuro of the Miami Herald and he had this to say about what he wanted to do with his free time.

Williams, in the NFL's substance-abuse program since 2002 and having tested positive four times, said Monday he was briefly tempted to smoke marijuana while the Dolphins had their bye weekend.

Williams said the extra free time was the primary reason for the temptation.
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'Most definitely,'' Williams said. 'It's greater because, like, Thursday, coach told us we had Friday off, so automatically your mind, which is so constrained since training camp began -- every day is a grind, it's a grind, it's a grind -- and then Coach says `you're free.' And the mind says, `I'm free, what can I do?'
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`So there was definitely an urge. But I just thought about what I have to lose and it was easy. The urge didn't last very long.''

Williams said he successfully combated the urge to smoke by meditating instead.

''I've done a lot of work at understanding myself a little bit more,'' Williams said. ``So I recognize [the urge] was just a result of the feeling of being free, and I was just trying to maximize it. And I realize that I really enjoy meditating and when I can go home and sit in my room and meditate, I can get the same feeling.''

Williams said he employs a game plan in case the urge ever gets strong.
''It's not my formula but the formula I use is the key,'' he said. 'A lot of times when people have some kind of addiction, what happens is they make a mistake and trip up and afterward say, `I don't know what I was thinking.' And so if you always try to be aware of what is going on in your mind, you won't ever get to that point where it's too late.''
If he were to give in to any urge, Williams is aware he would likely be out of football for keeps because he has already been dealt a four-game suspension and a one-year suspension for previous positive drug tests.
''There's no space, no wiggle room for me,'' Williams said.
So is that scary for him?
''Not really,'' he said. ``I feel like I'm in control. I spend enough time thinking about it that I feel like I'm in control and I'm on the right path and doing the right things.''

Williams is tested nine times per month on a random basis. The man who administers the urinalysis for the NFL sometimes shows up at Williams' home before dawn.
''I have not failed,'' he said. ``I've been good. To have a thought or have an urge is normal. It's just what you do with it. You monitor how long it lasts. If it lasts 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, you're in trouble. You shouldn't get to that point.
``For me the NFL assigns a clinician and so if it got to that point and I was smart, I'd pick up the phone and I'd call him. Talking to someone about it, getting it out of your head will help calm you down.''
And Williams insists the urge has never gotten that strong.
''It hasn't even gotten close,'' he said.
The tests' frequency and even the occasional annoyance Williams suffers at times when a test is administered while he is traveling have not reached the level of offending Williams.
RESIGNED TO FATE
''I've been in the program since 2002, so I'm past that point,'' he said. ``For the first couple of years I was more worried about how I could beat the test. Now that I'm dealing with the issue, I'm almost thankful for it. I like the testing guy and I'm used to it. It's just part of my life.''
Williams said he will not bow to marijuana's temptation again while he continues to play in the NFL.
''Yeah, I can say that,'' he said. ``I feel confident saying that. It just doesn't fit my life right now. It would make life more difficult.''
But Williams realizes he cannot guarantee he will never smoke marijuana again after his career is over.
''I don't know,'' he said. ``I'd be lying if I said I'm never going to do it again after I'm done. I don't know. I don't spend much time thinking about it.''

I've always admired Williams for two things: first, he will admit that he isn't a Superman and that he has to face up his problems and temptations, secondly, he tries to help others with the same problems as him. Ricky may never fulfill the running back potential he had coming out of Texas, but he has more than made an attempt to make himself a better person.